Why am I losing weight/trying to get fit and healthy?
I don’t have a very loving relationship with my body.
The sad thing is, I’ve never been overweight. I’m in the “normal weight zone” for my age and height.
Around Spring 2011 I decided I wanted to lose weight. But I was honestly so uneducated in what to do. I thought by eating less, I could lose weight. That lasted until summer. I didn’t even see a difference in myself. That’s when the uncontrollable eating started. I. Ate. Everything. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t stop. It was bad.
Suddenly, none of my clothes were fitting. Looking in the mirror made me really upset and disappointed. I stepped on the scale one day and it said 117. I know to many people, they wish they could weigh that. But for a girl who has a small build and is barely 5 feet, that’s heavy. That’s when I figured out the only way I can do this is the healthy way. And I’ve been doing that ever since.
I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m proud of myself because I know I’m trying. I eat so clean and healthy now, I keep a food journal, I work out. I’m learning to love myself. It’s a really hard process, and I feel like giving up a lot. But I think about how proud of myself I’ll be when I can finally look in the mirror and just love my body. That’s what this journey is really about for me; Loving myself, being able to see how beautiful I really am. This isn’t for anyone but myself. Just for me. So I can be proud.